By Ear

I'm in the market for a new coffee maker. Not something fancy; I don't like a lot of bells and whistles when it comes to my morning ritual. What I really love is a French press, but I haven't been able to find a real good sturdy one that could take the kind of beating I give 'em. I did really love my Vietnamese coffee pot for a while, but the aluminum filter got bent, and well...it was never the same after that.

I'm guessing that whatever I get, it's gonna have to be solid [stainless] steel...I already have that, but it's only four cups. Time to boost the economy, venture out of my grind-infested hole, and actually deal with society. Wish me luck...

Tonight I will be at Trinity Episcopal Church, doing my "day job" as their Music Director. I have to say, I'm one of the lucky ones who have a small group of talented, dedicated singers who rely on me to have music prepared in packets, arranged for parts, mindful of their own personal schedules and commitment levels. I very much appreciate each one of them and what they bring to the table, musically. I'm not an Episcopalian (and never will be), however...being able to serve at a church where the doors are open for anyone and everyone, "whoever you are, wherever you are on your spiritual journey, you are welcome here"...I can rightfully and honestly say that Trinity is my church "home".

No, I don't recite the "Creed"...I stand up/sit down when I want to...I will recite the Lord's Prayer, only because I, my own self, find a bit of comfort in it. But other than that, I'm kind of a loner when it comes to spiritual things these days. I think it has a lot to do with my Mormon upbringing...I am no longer big on traditions tied to doctrine (and vice-versa). But there's something about Trinity that picks on a single heart string:

Not all traditions are "bad".

Truth really is, the majority of us (Christians alike) are all pagans. But if I had a "religion" to pick, I'd have to say that music would be it. Before any religion or cult wanted to claim me as their own, I know for a fact that all of them would have to back down...because music was, will and would always be my first love...and it will be my last.

Very few know my musical story. My [adopted] mother, Thelma, heard and witnessed me picking out melodies on a toy xylophone while I was still in the crib. I remember that xylophone, too...had black and white keys! Didn't matter, though, because I picked out tunes completely by ear. Whatever I heard, I played or sang. Simple songs, like "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"..."Three Blind Mice"...and whatever was playing on Sesame Street, or on the TV. Yep. I heard it.

I was about three years old when my sister, Kim, was taking piano lessons (she's 10 years older than me). When she would finish practicing her lessons, I would climb up on the piano stool and play, by ear, what she had just practiced. My mom was completely cued in on this, and tried to convince Mrs. Francis Kelliher - my sister's piano teacher - to take me on as a student. However, Kelliher would not take me on because I was way too young (three years old would basically be babysitting, haha!), however...she said that she would give me private lessons when I turned four.

Sure enough, near/around my fourth birthday, my mother took me to Kelliher's house and she let me loose on the three upright pianos in her basement. I went from piano to piano, playing what I knew, by ear. From that moment until I turned eight years old and debuted at the University of Wyoming with Beethoven's Piano Sonata, No. 25 in G Major...the first movement I had learned completely by ear...I knew that music would forever be my life friend.

I auditioned for my first piano competition when I was in eighth grade, going on ninth. I had to submit a taped recording of some Chopin piece (I don't even remember what it was). All I really remember now is a whirlwind of auditions, competitions, music festivals, etc. where I won this and that, received many honors, medals and scholarships. But music, for me, has never been about honors, medals and scholarships. It has never been about an ego complex, never has been about proving my own self on some self-righteous path of being a "know-it-all" on anything. Quite the opposite! It would be disrespectful.

Music was there when I felt as light as a feather, or heavy as a brick. Music was there when my parents grounded me, when my friends abandoned me, when a boyfriend broke up with me, when my world dissolved around me. Music has been there for me, no matter what. Put 88 keys before my eyes, and I will play what is in my heart. The revelation might be happy, mournful, angry, or pensive, but...what will come out will be me.

Okay, that said....I really kinda like all this dub step stuff. It's pretty bad ass, only because it speaks to some of my lower frequencies (don't think about that too much, but I like Deadmaus and Skrillex). I also love bluegrass, folk and Celtic music...roots music, stuff I grew up on.

Music...no matter where it comes from, will always have my frequencies cued in...and I hope, in yours as well!

Carol